Harry Potter Drabble Pit
by Arpad Hrunta
Summary: A series of Harry Potter drabbles on various topics and starring various characters. Hopefully each will be 100 words long.
1. Living the Dream

**Living the Dream**

Dumbledore and Draco, 100 Words.

* * *

Weak as he was, Dumbledore's mind was still as nimble as ever. Young Draco was desperate – he didn't want to do this, and Dumbledore thought he had a better than even chance of talking the boy down. This evening could still end up a victory for the light side.

Draco was sweating, worried, and almost in tears. The boy, and he was certainly still a boy, cruel as he was, was no cold-blooded killer.

Still, having his headmaster at wandpoint? Even facing his the next great adventure, Dumbledore couldn't but think that Draco was living many a students' dream.


	2. No Afterglow

**No Afterglow**

Pansy and Draco, 100 words

* * *

As Draco left the room, a self-satisfied look on his face, Pansy tried to put herself back together. It was nothing like she had dreamed about, instead being quick, painful and thoroughly unfulfilling. There was no tenderness, no sweet kisses as they lay together afterwards, no declarations of love - not even a thank you. Tracy must have been lying to her about how great it felt. What a cruel prank.

She smoothed out her clothes and conjured up a handkerchief for her tears. Her last thought before she left was a very unSlytherin one - she would never ride a unicorn.


	3. Perfection

**Perfection**

Dudley Dursley/Millicent Bulstrode, 100 words

* * *

Dudley looked at his new bride with reverence. Sure she wasn't a supermodel. She lacked grace. She was one of _them_, and boy, didn't _that_ cause problems with Mum and Dad, although her thinking his cousin was a prat mitigated some of their dislike.

But he had loved her since they met at one of his boxing matches – she loved the primal violence of the sport, _Muggle_ though it was. She asked him out as soon as the match was done.

What really sealed it for him, though, was that neither could beat the other at arm wrestling. _Perfection_.


	4. The Ashes

**The Ashes**

Ron Weasley, 100 words

* * *

After that one glorious post-war summer, Hermione went to Australia to visit her parents... and didn't come back. Her marriage to the Aussie Transfiguration master came shortly thereafter. Ron was devastated, and threw himself into Quidditch, and took particular pleasure watching the English national team play the Australians.

Too bad they kept losing.

So he branched out into Muggle sports fandom, hoping see England thrash the Australians at _something_.

Harry got him into cricket. It was a confusing sport. But Ron watched every Ashes series he could, and revelled when England won in 2005.

It didn't get Hermione back, though.


	5. Better Make Sure

**Better Make Sure**

Voldemort, 100 words.

* * *

"_Avada Kedavra!_" he shouted.

His greatest enemy fell in a heap. He ordered Malfoy's wife to check to make sure the little wretch was dead – she confirmed it.

Laughing, he strode over to the corpse. So pristine – so peaceful.

Better make sure.

A Slicing Hex later, and the deed was done. The giant was wailing and moaning – another Killing Curse solved that problem.

Time to finally put an end to the war.

He tossed his trophy to Malfoy. "Do something useful. Carry this."

"What about the rest of the body?" asked Malfoy.

He laughed again. "We only need the head."


	6. Narcissist

**Narcissist**

Nymphadora Tonks - 100 words

* * *

Everyone thinks being a Metamorphmagus is so wonderful, she thought ruefully. You can disguise yourself easily. You're never too tall for this ride. Any physical flaws? No need to obsess – change anything you don't like.

They don't think that once its known you what you are, virtually every date you have turns out to be some creep who would prefer you as a blonde. Or more buxom. Or looking like their long-lost fifth-year girlfriend.

This pervert, however, took the cake.

Throwing her drink in his face, she said, "I will not change my appearance to look like _you_!"


	7. Branding Issues

**Branding Issues**

Voldemort and OC, 100 words

* * *

"... so you see, My Lord, this market research clearly shows that it isn't the mayhem, chaos and destruction people object most to. It's your branding."

The Dark Lord looked unimpressed. "Explain."

"The name thing is a problem. People can't say your name, and they think 'You-Know-Who' is silly. The name 'Death Eaters' doesn't make people want to support you." He ignored the angry growling and continued. "But the worst is the symbol. The whole snake-and-skull thing is off-putting. You should get a symbol that's less scary, and more dynamic, like a lightning bolt or..."

"_Crucio!_"


	8. Parental Alienation

**Parental Alienation**

Ron, Hermione, Hugo and Rose Weasley - 100 words

* * *

Ron was certain his children would be just like their mother, and be bookish children he couldn't relate to. Maybe end up as librarians or something like that, so he'd never have anything to talk to them about.

Hermione was certain her children would be just like their father, and be Quidditch-mad sport fanatics, and the only way she'd be able to relate to them was by watching interminable matches of that damned game.

But Hugo becoming a performance artist, and Rose being a rap-bluegrass fusion star? At least both parents were equally unable to relate to them.


	9. Applied Learning

**Applied Learning**

Theodore Nott, Michael Corner and Terry Boot - 100 words

* * *

The Slytherins were ecstatic when the Carrows began teaching the Cruciatus Curse. Theodore Nott, in particular, relished using it on students from other houses. Su Li had the shakes for weeks after not getting out of his way quickly enough.

Nott forgot that Slytherins were outnumbered, that Ravenclaw House was already on edge after the disappearance of Luna Lovegood, and that Ravenclaws were _excellent_ students.

Michael Corner and Terry Boot caught him in a dark hallway one night. His resulting insanity from Cruciatus damage was acceptable collateral damage to having had valuable Dark Arts practice. Wouldn't the Carrows be proud?


	10. Anticipation

**Anticipation**

Parvati Patil - 100 words

* * *

This would be the best night of her life.

Parvati was thrilled that Harry had asked her to the Yule Ball. They didn't speak much in class – Harry tended to associate with Hermione and Ron, and occasionally Neville, to the exclusion of all others. Still, he was cute, and he looked so endearingly pleased when she accepted his invitation.

Even Lavender was jealous of all the attention. She was the date of a Champion. Her picture would be in all the papers, and she would spend the whole evening laughing and dancing with a cute, grateful boy.

She couldn't wait.


	11. Room 101

**Room 101**

Lucius Malfoy, 100 words.

* * *

Torturing Muggles was more fun in the old days, Lucius thought as he transformed the rats back into pencils. Nowadays it was so _bureaucratic_.

Still, he couldn't deny how effective it all was – the shortages, the brutality, the war deaths, the dehumanization of them. It was nothing more than Muggles deserved.

But there was nothing that would ever persuade him that these black overalls _weren't_ horrible, that the Dark Lord _didn't_ look silly in that moustache, and that the Thought Police wouldn't be better off calling themselves "Legilimens" like they actually were.

And he hated going by "O'Brien". So undignified.


	12. Elasticity

**Elasticity**

Hermione Granger, 100 words.

* * *

A few years after the war, muggleborn-baiting from the usual suspects began again, and punishment was lax.

Her year on the run left Hermione with an elastic sense of legality, a flair for secrecy and research, and no respect whatsoever for pureblood traditions.

Two years later, Draco Malfoy was found unconscious in Knockturn Alley, obliviated and stripped of his magic. Nothing St. Mungo's did could restore it. Other known blood supremacists began showing up the same way.

Most of the DMLE had no clue how to find the culprit. Harry did, but he had an elastic sense of legality too.


	13. Residency

**Residency**

Cornelius Fudge (channelling Richard Hatfield), 100 words.

* * *

After the melee in the Department of Mysteries, Cornelius Fudge conferred with Dumbledore, issued a number of edicts, and relocated to Sardinia.

He continued to issue instructions to the Ministry and to direct the war against Voldemort. He issued a statement to the _Daily Prophet_ that the Ministry's owl post was so efficient that it was just as easy to run things from Cagliari as from London.

When asked if he had a duty to stay in London with everyone else, he said, "Just because I'm the Minister for Magic of Great Britain doesn't mean I have to live there."


	14. Let Her Down Gently

**Let Her Down Gently**

Draco and Pansy, 100 words

* * *

"Sorry, Pans, but I'm with Astoria now," he said with a grin. "She's younger, more attractive, and she hasn't had her wand snapped for trying to sell out Harry Potter."

"But you hated him more than anyone!" she wailed.

He shrugged. "True. But no one cares, now that everyone knows Mum saved the Chosen One. Anyway, you'll do all right. You're cute enough in a down-market way. And you can work with the Muggles, since you don't have a wand."

It turned out she didn't need a wand to break his nose with a punch, either.

"_Episkey_ that, Draco."


	15. Bloody Freaks

**Bloody Freaks**

Vernon Dursley, 100 words.

* * *

Bloody freaks.

Bloody freaks showing up whenever they want, not obeying society's rules, dressing like a bunch of bloody hippies going to one of their bloody communes. Bloody freaks dropping off their freak spawn on decent people's doorsteps, threatening decent people, and ensuring he couldn't even turn the bastard into a normal person because he had a spot at their bloody freak school.

Bloody freaks attacking his family and making them balloon up or grow a pig's tail or suck their soul.

He can't even write a letter to the editor to complain or they'll scramble his brain.

Bloody freaks.


	16. V-G Day

**V-G Day**

Tom Marvolo Riddle, 100 words

* * *

He looked contemptuously at the crowds celebrating in Hogsmeade.

The fools always thought they just fought the Last War, not realizing that there was always a Next War. A Next Dark Lord. Even the bloody muggles knew that. The Kaiser was dead, Hitler was dead, but there was still Tojo. And after him Stalin, and then an endless succession after that. There was always a Next Dark Lord – muggle or magical.

It was a sorry day when the muggles were smarter than proper wizards.

Tom Riddle smiled to himself. Grindlewald wouldn't be the last. Not by a long shot.


	17. Not This One

**Not This One**

Dolores Umbridge and Harry Potter, 100 words

* * *

There was a universe where Dolly Jane was beloved. One where her girlish voice and pink outfits reflected one who was always young at heart. Where her determination and single-mindedness won her the heart of a meek but decent wizard who let her manage their household and family. Where love of rules and order resulted in her making the system work for those who were not as able as her to navigate bureaucracy and the Ministry. Where her appointment to Hogwarts was welcomed by children who saw her as a kindred spirit.

Unfortunately for Harry, it was not this one.


	18. Faculty Performance Review

**Faculty Performance Review**

Severus Snape and Millicent Bulstrode, 100 words.

* * *

"Alecto Carrow is incompetent," Millicent said firmly.

"You forget yourself, Ms. Bulstrode."

"Respectfully, Headmaster, I don't. She simply repeats endlessly about how Muggles are useless and amimalistic. Fine. We get that. But what are we supposed to do about it?"

Snape raised an eyebrow.

"We're not stupid, Headmaster. We know there's a war on. We know Muggles want to kill us all. Why isn't Professor Carrow telling us what we can do? How we can strike back? How can we arm ourselves if we're taught by incompetents? How we can take the fight to _them_?"

Snape had no idea what to say.


	19. Welcome to Hell

**Welcome to Hell**

Hermione Granger and an unnamed Minister For Magic, 100 words

* * *

"Well, we have to appoint _someone_. She's smart, engaged, and she'll think it's a promotion. And it will get her out of our hair and maybe shut her up about the bloody house elves."

"Yes Minister."

* * *

Hermione beamed as she took her seat in the ICW Headquarters underneath the Palace of Nations in Geneva.

The chairman banged his gavel, and said, "We now recommence the 310th Annual Conference on the Pros and Cons of Maintaining the Statute of Secrecy."

Hermione was so excited. Now she was making a _difference!_

The weary Barbadian delegate merely muttered to her, "Welcome to Hell."


	20. Responsibility

**Responsibility**

Minister for Magic Luna Lovegood (channelling Jean Chretien), 100 words

* * *

"Well, responsibility is an interesting thing, you know," new Minister for Magic Luna Lovegood said. "When something goes wrong at the Ministry, the civil servants will blame the politicians, and we'll blame them right back. And then the Aurors will blame their Captain, who will blame the Department Head, who will blame the Minister. It used to be that the Minister would just blame Voldemort, but now that he's dead, we can't do that. Previous Ministers blamed the Muggles, but I think that's unfair."

She leaned towards the interviewer. "Now that I'm Minister? I usually say Nargles are to blame."


	21. Haute Cuisine

**Haute Cuisine**

A Dementor and Xenophilius Lovegood, 100 words.

* * *

This one's memories were _delicious_.

The Dementor feasted upon the memory – flooing to his living room after an interview, a bouquet of daisies in his hand for his wife. The woman who kept him grounded. Kept him sane. Walking to her laboratory. Seeing her, prone on the floor. The smell of charred flesh. Smoke rising from a gaping wound on her chest. Their precious daughter in her neat gingham dress, and neat blond hair, whispering faintly, "Wake up, Mum," over and over. The flowers dropping to the floor. The wail forcing its way out his throat.

It was _exquisite_.


	22. His Own Worst Enemy

**His Own Worst Enemy**

Severus Snape, 100 words

* * *

Severus Snape had many enemies.

He considered this as he looked at his forearm, the Dark Mark tattooed thereupon, and wondered when his arm would burn with the next summons.

The Dark Lord was an enemy, as was Dumbledore, each keeping him enslaved against the other.

Potter had been an enemy. His spawn was an enemy.

But as the Mark began to burn, his thoughts turned toward his greatest enemy – the rash and stupid young man who, in a misguided quest for power and prestige, allowed himself to be branded like cattle. He was the worst of them all.


	23. Say It With Flowers

**Say It With Flowers**

Molly Weasley, 100 words.

* * *

Molly always got flowers for her birthday – a lovely bouquet of roses from Arthur. Later, Charlie would send exotic flowers from Romania, the twins (and then later, George alone) would give her charmed bunches which sang "Happy Birthday". Ron would get her a bouquet of wildflowers he picked himself.

After the war, she started to get an anonymous bouquet of exotic flowers she couldn't identify, but which were more beautiful and fragrant than she had ever experienced. There was never a note.

After she attended the Longbottom-Abbot wedding, though, and saw the floral arrangements, she knew she didn't need one.


	24. Thesis and Antithesis

**Thesis and Antithesis**

Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, 100 words.

* * *

"I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?"

Harry lowered his newspaper. "Harry Potter."

"Is that the Morning Star?"

"My uncle's copy. He's arranged a subscription for me for Hogwarts."

"Is your uncle... red?"

"Yeah. We all are. You want to make something of it?"

"I didn't know there were any Communist wizards. Do they even allow that?"

"Doesn't matter. The Revolution is coming, whatever the wizarding bourgeoisie wants. The dialectic, you know. The working wizard's day is coming. Soon."

"They just banned the Communists in Russia, you know."

"Our victory is inevitable."

"I'm going to find another compartment."


End file.
